I just finished a book titled I'm Eve by Chris Costner Sizemore and Elen Sain Pittilo. It was an eye opening memoir about a woman, named Chris, struggling through life with multiple personalities. As a child she doesn't realize that she has a personality disorder, but only that another child comes and does bad things for her, or watches things she doesn't want to see. As an adult, Chris is diagnosed, and tries to eliminate the other personalities and figure out which is the real her. She can hear herself speaking, watch what her body is doing, but she is not doing it. She feels trapped inside a body that is inhabited by other people, some she doesn't even like. I think many of us can relate in some way. We may not have many personalities, but we often struggle through life trying to find ourselves. Sometimes, when we have it all figured out, we find ourselves lost once again. For many, it's a never ending battle.
This also relates a bit to raw food and it's nemesis, cooked food addictions. Or any kind of food addictions. When dealing with these kinds of addictions it seems that no matter what you tell yourself, your body does something different. Those potato chips on the dining room table, already opened and ready to be devoured? You know your not interested, you try not to pay much attention to them at all. Next thing you know, your chewing on something salty and crunchy. This tastes good! Then you realize what you have done, and you're mad at yourself. You told yourself you didn't want them, so why did you eat them? Before you know it, another crunch! Why are you doing this to yourself? What's making you do this? Why can't you just stop and move on with your life like all those other, more famous raw foodists? Sometimes you just feel like you have no control.
No one ever told Chris that she was doing it to herself, was causing herself to suffer from multiple personalities. All those years, until she was in her late 40s at least, she thought that the personalities where doing this to her. Her cousin, Elen, told her that she was doing this to herself, that no one, or no thing was doing this to her. When she realized that she was causing her own misery, she finally had the power to stop it.
Ending our addictions to unhealthy food is a challenge, and it's something that we have to do completely on our own. Sure, we can get support from others, but the real effort has to come from ourselves. No one can help us with that, because only we have the power. We are doing this to ourselves, no outsider is feeding us those potato chips. We have to find the strength within ourselves to defend us from...ourselves.
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