I'm Eve, and I'm Suffering from Cooked Food Addictions

I know it's been a week since my last post. I been feeling very melancholy this week, especially towards technology. Sometimes I wish I lived long ago before TVs, computers, phones, etc. I'm sure life was harder, physically, but every once in awhile I wish I could go there. I also wish it was warm out, I would love to take a walk in the woods and relax. In this temperature, I would probably get hypothermia if I tried taking a walk in the woods. So instead, I've been reading, playing Wii with my daughter, and packing. Just a few more weeks until Spring; I can't wait!

I just finished a book titled I'm Eve by Chris Costner Sizemore and Elen Sain Pittilo. It was an eye opening memoir about a woman, named Chris, struggling through life with multiple personalities. As a child she doesn't realize that she has a personality disorder, but only that another child comes and does bad things for her, or watches things she doesn't want to see. As an adult, Chris is diagnosed, and tries to eliminate the other personalities and figure out which is the real her. She can hear herself speaking, watch what her body is doing, but she is not doing it. She feels trapped inside a body that is inhabited by other people, some she doesn't even like. I think many of us can relate in some way. We may not have many personalities, but we often struggle through life trying to find ourselves. Sometimes, when we have it all figured out, we find ourselves lost once again. For many, it's a never ending battle.

This also relates a bit to raw food and it's nemesis, cooked food addictions. Or any kind of food addictions. When dealing with these kinds of addictions it seems that no matter what you tell yourself, your body does something different. Those potato chips on the dining room table, already opened and ready to be devoured? You know your not interested, you try not to pay much attention to them at all. Next thing you know, your chewing on something salty and crunchy. This tastes good! Then you realize what you have done, and you're mad at yourself. You told yourself you didn't want them, so why did you eat them? Before you know it, another crunch! Why are you doing this to yourself? What's making you do this? Why can't you just stop and move on with your life like all those other, more famous raw foodists? Sometimes you just feel like you have no control.

No one ever told Chris that she was doing it to herself, was causing herself to suffer from multiple personalities. All those years, until she was in her late 40s at least, she thought that the personalities where doing this to her. Her cousin, Elen, told her that she was doing this to herself, that no one, or no thing was doing this to her. When she realized that she was causing her own misery, she finally had the power to stop it.

Ending our addictions to unhealthy food is a challenge, and it's something that we have to do completely on our own. Sure, we can get support from others, but the real effort has to come from ourselves. No one can help us with that, because only we have the power. We are doing this to ourselves, no outsider is feeding us those potato chips. We have to find the strength within ourselves to defend us from...ourselves.


  1. Hmmm, I'm not sure if I wholeheartedly agree with the cousin's assertion that Chris was "doing this to herself." Not sure a doctor would agree either. Individuals with Multiple Personality Disorder often develop these other personas as a means of protection from some real or perceived trauma in their lives. Our mind is a very complex organ.

    Speaking as a food addict myself, I can say with some clarity and insight that my own disordered eating began as a means of protection too. But once the pattern of my compulsion kicked in and I continued to reach for food other than when I was hungry, something physiological began taking place as well. I realized that ingesting certain types of food set in motion a phenomenon of craving in my body. I shared a bit about my own insights around this here on my site.

    I don't know, Amanda. I agree strength comes into play but there's more to the equation. I hope you are not spending time beating yourself up for not being strong enough or having the will power. Addiction, in any guise or form it takes, is insidious. In a word, it SUCKS.

    Today is a new day. Begin again.

    You are loved.


  2. Have you seen that movie "Cybil" with Sally Field? Same story, fascinating and tearful story! I think everyone deals with some form of addiction in life. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to be patient and gentle. Change is hard, and you have to be compassionate to your own needs. It also helps to look at the larger scale of things. Raw food is a lifelong journey.

  3. earthmother, I agree with you earthmother, about the the idea that Chris was doing it to herself. More specifically, her cousin told her that she was doing it to herself as a coping mechanism to block, or deal with some horrible events that happened in her lifetime.
    Thank you for the love! I'm not beating myself up at all. In fact, I have noticed that when I eat raw for awhile, and then go back to some cooked, and then again go back to 100% raw, it seems to jump start my metabolism and I suddenly lose 15-20 more lbs. Any ideas on that phenomenom? I still haven't figured that out.